First rule of Conscious Discipline is you do not talk about Conscious Discipline!
Hello, fellow CD Member. Today’s meeting is to discuss how to handle Project Mayhem, AKA big emotions. How do you explain that the feelings you own end up owning you to a child who’s been in this world for only a few months? Help them let go of that anger, sadness, or disappointment by following a few tried and true methods that help build self-regulation skills. One day, you’ll see your child self-comforting in a healthy way. Below is an example of how you can allow big emotions with non-judgmental actions.
Name the emotion
“You met me at a very strange time in my life.”
Yes, child, I did meet you at a time that was not ideal, but here we are. I see that you took that toy from someone and wanted it for yourself. That jealousy can be used to help yourself, but we don’t take from others to give to ourselves.
Breathing techniques
“If you wake up in a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”
Let’s think about how you can help yourself in a calm way. First, we need to clear our minds. Do balloon breathing with me. Take a deep breath in and raise your arms. Then blow out like a balloon…
Don’t dismiss their feelings
“I felt like destroying something beautiful.”
I understand you want his toy, but sometimes we have to wait or figure out something else.
Connect with them
“I say never be complete. Stop being perfect. I say let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.”
You made a mistake, and it hurt the other person. You can always fix mistakes. Your guilt lets you know that you want to fix something. Do you want help returning the toy, or will you do it on your own? Either way, let’s hug before and after because you’re brave for fixing mistakes.
Creating a safe space
“Most people, normal people, do just about anything to avoid a fight.”
I love you, and you can always ask for something if you want it. But taking without asking will create problems. You’re great at fixing problems and finding things to do. The problem right now is that you want something to do while you wait for the toy.
Problem solving
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
What do you think we should do?
Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Fellow CD Member, I see you and how you sacrifice your frustration and replace it with patience; how you create moments of love and safety amid a range of emotions; and how you follow the lead because that’s what a leader does sometimes. Although the first rule of Project Mayhem is to not ask questions, you will still figure out a way to make things peaceful again.
-Written by Asiya Bhura, School Director
