Whether you are new to childcare, transitioning to a new school, or just moving down the hallway to a new classroom, separation anxiety is a major concern for both parents and children. What will my new classroom be like? How will my child adjust to a new routine? Who are these new people in our lives?
So often in life, we as parents want to protect our children from discomfort. But change is an inevitable part of life, and at Celebree School of Franklin Cool Springs, we are ready to help you navigate those transitions. By using our Conscious Discipline framework, we can give children the support they need to navigate new challenges, including separation anxiety.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a normal phase of development. Per the American Academy of Pediatrics, this anxiety starts around 6-9 months of age when children develop object permanence. For some children, this is a brief phase; for others, it can last until the age of three. While developmentally appropriate, separation anxiety weighs heavily on the hearts of parents and educators.
A big feeling- not a bad feeling
As adults, we can sometimes confuse big feelings with bad feelings. When we’re overwhelmed with stress or sadness, we have to pause, name the emotion, and face it head-on. Those same skills can be taught to our children. Separation anxiety is not an indicator that children aren’t ready to move on to a new experience. It just means they are not sure how to process a new adventure. Even adults are prone to first-day jitters. However, we as adults know from experience that our uncomfortable feelings will pass, and we can teach that resilience to our children as well.
Conscious Discipline in the Classroom.
Celebree School utilizes Conscious Discipline as a framework for our social emotional curriculum. It is an incredible tool for anxiety, framed around encouragement, empathy, and connection. It also has an emphasis on rituals, specifically routines throughout the day to help children regulate their nervous system and feel secure.
A great example is our Greeting Rituals. Each morning, teachers offer several options to say hello -high five, wave, dance, hug- and children choose what feels right that day. These simple moments of choice and connection build trust and create structure. We continue this with daily morning meetings and visual schedules, so children always know what’s coming next.
When does separation anxiety end???
For a parent in the thick of it, that is the pressing question. Unfortunately, the answer varies from child to child. Many children show improvement around the age of two. One way to help with this is to talk about specific things at school that your child may be excited about. By utilizing our carefully prepared lesson plans, you can point out specific activities your child may be excited about and talk them up. “It looks like you’re going to be doing a block challenge today at school! That will be something you are so good at! I bet when we get to school, you can ask Miss Abby all about that.”
Keep in mind: children form habits and emotional associations quickly. A tearful goodbye might become part of their drop-off routine, even if they’re excited to be at school. They may cry at the door, then happily run off to play. As the brain develops, patterns form—and some can take time to outgrow. What looks like distress may actually be a habit. If you are concerned, request your child’s teacher to update you in an hour; they’ll be happy to do so!
Back to School, Back to Fun
One of the best tools we can give our children is the confidence to face any feeling. Separation anxiety is one of those first challenging feelings, and sometimes it can feel like we are asking too much of our littlest loves. By showing children that school is safe, predictable, and full of people who care about them, we help them build the skills to manage emotions long beyond the preschool years. Our teachers at Celebree School are equipped to help support you and your family through every phase of life. And we are excited to give your child the tools to help them through those jitters from the first day of preschool to their first job.
